Commit to Building Better Relationships at Work and Watch Your Stress Decrease and Career Take Off

Relationships are the currency that gets things done in organizations. You might be the most knowledgeable cybersecurity analyst in the company but interacting with people and mustering support for your projects is how you are going to be effective.

Modern industrial organization (IO) theory teaches us that there are three main sources of power in an organization.

The three types of power

Role Power

This is the one that people are most familiar with. This is the one where the boss says, “Tim, would you please do this” and you do it knowing that she’s directing you to perform a task, not asking. Day-to-day you are most likely to encounter this from your direct manager. Likewise, if there is some disagreement between an SVP and a VP the SVP is usually going to get his way. Unless a CEO jumps in and outranks both. Rook beats Knight, Queen beats both. The only way to increase or decrease role power is to be promoted or (hopefully not!) demoted. If you play your role power card you’re checking rank and locking horns. Tread carefully here.

Expertise Power

This is the one where you are recognized for being the best front-end developer or Python guru. People come to you for your knowledge and you are frequently tapped to weigh in on decisions as the expert in the field. IT folks are the poster child for expertise power.

Relationship Power

Relationship power is the most effective and most frequently overlooked of the three dimensions. If there are any Game of Thrones fans this is the corporate version of Tyrion- well connected with all of the centers of power and whispering into leader’s ears.

For an introverted creative or technical person being told to work on relationships might feel like being sentenced to 10 years of hard labor in a Russian gulag. It might feel unsavory. There are a lot of negative feelings that come with “schmoozing” and we often look down on the person that engages in this type of behavior. We call it office politics and all sorts of negative terms. But often the same people we demonize are seen as “team players” who know how to collaborate (oh how we hate that term!) And like it or not, these are the people that get promoted into management positions.

But stick with me here. Commit to dipping your feet in the water just for a little bit. It doesn’t have to be a big effort you can start with something small tomorrow. Maybe there’s a person at work you really despise. Try saying “hi” to them next time you see them. See how they react to it, see how you feel – I bet you’ll like it. Starting small and building on it is the best way to start improving your communication and relationships at work.