How I am Building a Network at Work Without Schmoozing: 3 Steps You Can Start Now

When it comes to managing your career, you and you alone are at the helm. Unfortunately the days of spending 40-years at IBM or GE and advancing through the ranks with regular promotions are over. Most companies these days have little to no professional development programs. If you want the best roles, projects, and opportunities you are going to have to work for it.

Sink or swim. It’s all up to you.

No one likes networking. NO ONE. (except maybe a few off-hand mega-extroverts.) Even hearing the term most introverts will feel dirty and want to take a shower afterward.

Fundamentally, what we’re trying to signal to the organization is that we’re ready and able to move to bigger and better things. We want to muster support from people who are in a position to help us. And they need to like you in order to help you.

Few are networking well so there’s no need to be the best

Very people in your organization are likely networking well. That means you don’t have to be an all-star to stand out. By just dipping your toe in the water a little bit you are already raising your self up above so many others. Remember, you don’t have to be the fastest in the group to outrun a bear. You only need to be not the slowest.

Play the game without losing yourself

But, I’m not a “political guy” you say. Neither was I. After taking these steps I’m still not and I still have my identity. I’m still a gruff opinionated curmudgeon. Just a slightly better liked one. Don’t concern yourself with losing your core values. The exercises are not going to cause you to do a 180′. At the most they’ll move you a few degrees from your regular center state.

Step 1: Loosen up your standards (for now) and cast a wide net

We all have opinions about our co-workers and mental lists we walk around with about their good and bad qualities. We may have seen that someone is a poor performer, or that they are little rude, or that they’re a suck-up.

This is a hang-up for most. We see undesirable qualities and say “I don’t want them in my network.” We think by associating with them we will sully our reputation. Don’t fret about these things. If it’s LinkedIn, or a mental network map add everyone.

We are not selecting for friendship. These are people that exist in our work universe, like it or not. We need to make some lemon pie out of these lemons. If you can bear it tell yourself that there must be at least one redeeming quality with even your most despised acquaintances. Make it your future detective mission to figure out what that is.

Also, don’t focus only on powerful people, or rock stars who you think can help you. If you do this you will spend too much time on validating people and figuring if they can be of service to you. Add those who are above you and those beneath you.

Think of this exercise as building a sales funnel. We want to stuff as many potential networkees in at the top and we can filter down later.

Step 2: Be generous – give without the expectation of receiving anything in return

We want these people to do a favor for us at some point. Wouldn’t it be more direct to just come out and ask them?

They will smell you coming a mile away and you will sabotage any chance of building a meaningful future relationship. You think you are being clever but they’ll see through it.

Think of how often influential people are approached for favors. Any unsolicited email in their inbox is going to sound the same. No one wants to be used.

Forget any expectation of reciprocity. If you approach this exercise with that at the back of your mind it’s going to show through in your interactions. Besides, reciprocity is something that comes later. Tit for tat and favor trading is after a relationship based on trust is established.

The best way to get people to help you is to help them first. Find out how you can be of value to people. Help in any way you can. Don’t be worried if the work is beneath you. Oftentimes people at the top of their field have tasks that they absolutely hate. Sometimes it’s managing accounts payable, or organization vendors – it’s usually the non-fun work. Your task is to find out what their pain point is and volunteer to alleviate it. If you can’t directly fix it volunteer to introduce them to someone in your network who can.

Step 3: Spend time on maintaining relationships

The moment that a relationship interaction ends it begins to wilt and decay. Like all good gardeners you must mind your plants, be sure to water, and maintain them.

Work on increasing the quantity and quality of interactions with your contacts. It’s daunting at first but once you get in the habit of it, it will come as second nature.

If it’s a new contact

When meeting someone new be sure to capture their relevant contact information; name, email, and phone number. Sometimes you’ll only get one or two of these. In this case do some sleuthing online and see if you can come up with the rest via a Google search. Once you have it add it to your address box and set a reminder to contact that person, pick a date, and set a reminder. Easy peasy. After each interaction set up a reminder for your next outreach.

Tips for outreach: Absolutely try to not go more than 6-months without interacting with someone. I like to look at my life in quarters, so I try to reach out once every 3 months.

If it’s an existing contact

I have some friends from junior high and high school that I used to be very close to but we’ve drifted apart due to starting families, careers, and moving. I don’t do as good of a job of staying in touch as I’d like. Which is a shame, because they are awesome people.

One tip I’ve found helpful is to scroll to the very bottom of my SMS messages and Google Hangouts app once a week and contact whoever I haven’t heard from in awhile Just a friendly “Hi, how are you” can do wonders at maintaining relationships.

Please let me know in the comments below if any of these tips were helpful. Do you have any of your own to add?